...star of wonder, star of night...

The reason why I have always loved hymns, carols and gospel music is because they are so inherently positive, full of faith. They talk of a guiding hand and unconditional love, it's so easy. I don't accept religion in other capacity for myself, but I do love this music. I think it's beautiful that there is artistic expression to a faith so great. I think it's even more beautiful to have a faith so deep - I wish I felt something like that, but I have never been able to except in a strange, spiritual way I can hardly define. It doesn't coincide with any contemporary religion really, but it's there.

Tonight I have the dry, wrinkled hands of an old woman - a function of dishwashing and forgetting to use lotion - but internally, I feel all the jittery excitement of adolescent attractions. I keep telling myself to slow down, don't get attached, it could all be nothing in a day or two... but I'm hoping.

Walking to the dining hall earlier tonight for study hours, I noticed how beautiful the front campus field is when you turn around and look south - the CN Tower in the distance, Convovation Hall bright with lights, and stars overhead. Whatever else happens in the world, at least there is beauty in it. It's so funny because that is a postive thought you would think, but I'm sad in some fundamental inside part of me and I have no explanation for it. More than that, I have no reason for it, really no reason to be anything but sublimely happy. So there you have it, nothing makes sense in my world right now.

Except maybe the justifications for R. v Butler, which were actually quite sensible. Good on them.