...i am the captain of this ship...

Steroidy cough medicine = really trippy dreams.

Roger Howarth was my history teacher and, as would happen if he were ever in my real world, was promptly slept with. A classmate named Sebastien St. James went grocery shopping for me, and bought cooked beets and raw pasta. I danced in a post-modern production called IODA. Then, without skipping a beat, performed plastic surgery on Shulman, and my brother lost $4 in a bet.