...white lillies on a dark background...

Elements of a Sunday night:

i) After noticing today's necklace (and having previously commented on Friday's), he blurts out "yeah... your neck always looks really nice". I didn't really know how to respond, it being fairly bizarre as compliments go, so I smiled and said thank you. Awkward silence, but the good kind - we leave in two different directions, but he stops by twice before the night is done, so I'm happy and among the clouds.

ii) The thing about doing your groceries late in the night is that all the good produce is gone. But it's a sacrifice to which I can resign myself since the benefits of convenience are far superiour.

iii) Problem: tomorrow night has two opposing events - the Passionate Eye documentary on Iranian prostitution at 9pm, and the screening of Jambo at the National Film Board at 7pm. Aieee, this is aggravating.

iv) A good portion of the day was spent thinking about some things I was made to realise last night about my family, their friends, their past, things they went through, things they still think about, an existence I can't comprehend if I tried. I have all these jumbled thoughts on the matter, and not knowing how I'm supposed to feel about it all exactly. I want to have someone who can give me all the answers, like I had over the summer. But changing dynamics have unsettled me to the extent that I am loathe not only to pick up the phone, but also to email which is relatively tame and unfrightening. But here I sit, not doing anything about anything. Useless because of reacting this way, and also because I still haven't put sheets on my bed. Mattress sleeping for one more night...