...i won't let you down (i will not give you up)...

Because I promised someone who matters that I will take care of myself, today I will eat three square meals, go to class and write a reading comprehension test, hand in my essay which I wrote last night and be otherwise conscientious and productive. This is in the hopes that I stop inciting serious worry, I'm okay honestly.

My mother came to my house, picked up all my laundry that I'd forgotten to do in the circumstance, took it home and then brought it back clean. Then she put piles of leftovers in my fridge. Then she waited until I got home to come by and hug me. Then she changed my sheets. I love my mother SO MUCH, I don't think you have any idea.

I confronted AM yesterday, told him this is absolutely not the time to continue being mean to me, and holding on to some petty 5-year old grudge. He told me that he can't be friends with me anymore, because he was made to feel like a fool, and will be uncomfortable around me now. Said that he had been mean to me because he had to make me feel as dumb and bad as he had felt, that justice hadn't been served yet. I told him his mentality was worthy of the Middle Ages and called him an asshole. Told him he couldn't really have thought we would have gotten together, we would have killed each other. He says "I know that, I know now you made the right decision".

So what's the fucking problem?! "I already told you" he said, "I don't like feeling like an idiot and being confronted with my wrong decisions".

Gotcha. Okay, there goes that. His loss, honestly. He just lost any chance to ever feel completely at home in this family/community. Who else was going to be his 'in'? Tool.

I have to go home today at some point, or maybe tomorrow. Hopefully today - I have some pictures of Joe that I want to bring down to the office. One is him wearing a dress at the 2002 Conference Talent Show, the other is him shaving his legs on stage at the same event. Another is him lifting his shirt for the camera and making a sexy face, oooh baby. Oh child, I am going to miss you something hard.

Interestingly, if you care to know, he looked hotter in that Le Chateau dress than I ever could, great legs. Seriously.