...do not leave your belongings unattended...

I dreamt of the people who left my life, the lot of you - who woke up one morning and realized they no longer need my life, love, company. Walking to school, I almost choked on mango nectar that was too sweet anyway.

My lifeline is an ugly beige cardigan which goes with me nearly everywhere. I wear it over my soft red sundress, thus defeating the entire purpose. Heavy, and its shape distorted by too many washes, it covers me like a burlap sac. I'm a physically manifest contradiction.

More than sometimes I want to go back to a previous time and do things differently. I play the "it could have turned out differently..." game. Such a dangerous plan to follow, and so completely futile. My insecurities are swimming in me today, doing messy laps of butterfly kicks and making splashes everywhere, getting into everything.

I want to hear "you're beautiful in the morning". I want to be spun around spontaneously, despite my fear of heights. I want a hand on my knee, and the curtains drawn.

I want to skip school today and do the work I should have done last night, when I sat in my room with the candles burning and read Pablo Neruda into the night.