...bargain bin clint eastwood (all in white)...

In my defense, and I hope you believe me (which, judging from the fact that you are not reading this, nor are you likely to, means you probably won't): I'm actually smart and confident and capable and funny, and I can throw moxy/be sexy when I feel it, and come in sly with sarcasm and brass to make you feel it. So that image you have? Too giggly by half, intermittently ditzy, and loud high-pitch, in that way of all the girls from high school I ever hated, ever? Please don't hold it against me, nerves nerves nerves. And the professional sounding heels click-clickety-clicking away were about overcompensation, and everything else is too.

What a disaster.

On the other line, someone is asking me for relationship advice. Hah.