...when we wake up we'll still be who we are...

My skin felt tight to bursting last night, so frustrated and hyper. We the People went to the G, I drank too much but not enough.

I wanted artificial happiness, chemical comfort. I wanted a distraction from someone who is affecting me very strongly. I want to pretend that I'm interested in everything and everyone else to eventually convince myself. So I speak French over the counter with a Maggie girl, while keeping my eye on the boy beside her. He hugged me when I first came in; she said I must have been dying inside and I was but not because of that but because of what pushed me to go there in the first place. Distraction boy bought me a drink then, and offered me more. Everyone was generous, the love is enormous. I turned down the first hit, thinking impulses shouldn't always be followed. The second came a couple hours later, when I wasn't thinking as clearly, he said "you want?" and I said... "yeah. I do".

I do I do I do.