...if you should stop for awhile...

i) First of all, I am NOT like Natalie Portman's character in Garden State. The only time I felt inklings of similarity was that creepy scene where she was talking about being unique and having to do something no one else has ever done every now and again; and that, only because I was talking to someone about that very thing earlier today. Which was odd.

ii) This whole thing with TA's. How seriously do you think the university would take it? I mean come on, he sent me a little moon emoticon. For good night? You know? And I ran into Janet's room and briefly collapsed and died on her bed, then ran back so I could finish the conversation with as much electronic grace as I could muster. I'm such a loser, just kill me now.

iii) If I am to be Natalie Portman, I can take comfort in the fact that she had a happy ending. Zach Braff got it, he figured out that she's the coolest girl he'd ever meet. But he's an actor, reading his lines. People in the real world don't know nearly so much. It's problematic, really.

iv) I have to be happy for my girl in the face of her potential hooking up with someone really truly hot. To the point that he, too gets the Hot moniker before his name (which we won't mention here, for reasons of journalistic discretion). The reason I have to be happy for her, I suppose, is because once upon a time she found Hot Steve ridiculously hot, and then I made out with him so I have to do the same for her. These all fall into the laws as laid down by the Girlfriend's Bible, and such.

v) Re: Number ii) - I am not going to get through this semester. What exactly am I supposed to do, lace my coffee with Bailey's in the morning before class to give myself courage and the ability to potentially speak? That is hardly academically effective.

WHY can't you kill me now? For the love of my Aunt Francis.