...reclaimed by a cute girl and/or the CIA...

When in the midst of "crunch time", c'est a dire law essays + religion papers + french finals + anthropology midterms, and also juggling work, and having given up even on the concept of having a life (i.e. the boy has not been seen for 1 week tomorrow) -- when in the midst of all this it is definately not advisable to pull stunts like falling asleep immediately following work from sheer exhaustion (this is circa 1pm) and waking up at quarter to 7. C'est exactement ca qu'on appele une grande perte du temps.

Ashley tells me that I live my life according to script, as if I'm starring in my own movie. I could probably accept that but it leads to fears of being type-cast. Am I unique/special at all, or just your typical silly schoolgirl? And if I am in a movie, am I directing or merely starring? Because one implies creative control and the possibility for change. The other, well not too much hope there, except my name in bright lights, and fame is fleeting anyway, tenuous.

There is a chance the following is only in my head and more than a little self-important:

So when in communications with party A, I say something that he apparently takes more seriously than it is, which is ridiculous because this is all his fault anyway, I'm just playing by the rules he laid out. So party A says stop, as in a telegram. Which isn't to say there's any actual declaration of finality, just a cease in the communications. Until I eventually start it up again, and it follows until the next time I say something sketchy. And it's this pattern see? I hate patterns, I hate ruts, and I hate ditto. I hate inconsistencies, I hate hypocricy, I hate little boys, and I hate lima beans. Even when they're salted, like the Persian way. So if you are Party A, you will call immediately and say "I Party A will be wise and mature and realise you are the most amazing person I know, and I should be only so lucky to have you forgive me time and time again, and I will behave myself, and possibly buy you something pretty. Like a flower. Or a chocolate-banana lollipop because they are cool".

And then I might be gracious enough to say "well... okay". But without a part or all of the preceeding statement, there will be NO forgiveness, NO re-establishment of ties, NONE. Forever and ever, amen.

This law paper is never going to get finished. Yeah... you saw that too? Hmm... this could be a predicament.