...maddening shroud...

It can't be coincidence that Robarts sounds like Robots. This building is a giant impersonal steel trap eagerly smacking it's lips in anticipation of eating alive would-be studiers. How ironic that it is not conducive in any way, shape, or form to studying and yet here we all are. I could kill myself here - buried in the stacks, not only would no-one find me, but I doubt they would lift their heads from their books long enough to notice or do anything about it.

I kind of hate this school.

Amy's breezing through Dartmouth having cocktail parties. New Hampshire with it's pretty trees and quaint book shops. Her Ivy League seems cool, maybe I should hit that up. I want cocktail parties, classy frats. I love that paradox.

Farnam's friend Liz sent her a drawing of Harvard boys that made me laugh. Looks like frosh everywhere are essentially one and the same. Oh, boy...

McGill is rawking to the morning hours, and Trent has fall reading week (those lazy skids). U of T makes me cry - the boredom is becoming too much so. When you find yourself bailing on most of your classes because you hate them all... probably a good sign to try something new. But what?

I hate how much I hate this and I'm stuck. Because I'm "supposed" to be in school. Because at 20, what else is there? I want to learn and improve and even study - just not here, and not now. Like Les and his book learning.

Aside: The dependence of our society on institutionalized learning. You can't get anywhere without that itty bitty piece of paper. Les is probably one of the most knowledgeable people I chanced to meet, and he knows it all without the university cynacism and dog-eat-dog mentality. But he won't be able to do anything with it, they won't allow him that. I remember that this was Steve's issue with university as well. I want to get somewhere, but without all this in-between bullshit. We need to go back to the drawing board, revamp the system.

Rather problematic really. These days, I just want to dance the time away, drown in synth rhythms and snare beats.

Calling the boy to suggest Rachel Yamagata at Elmo tomorrow night. Three times in one week? Did I subconsciously decide to try for this? I want him to be another game, another gamer, just so I can be proven right. Just another who talks the talk, saying all the right things. Oh pretty boy, where did you come from? These musicians, what will you do with them.