...surgeon general's warning...

The topic was monogamy. Apparently, there are a lot of people struggling with the philosophical questions of this topic. You would be surprised at all the different viewpoints. You would be surprised at how many deeply committed don't necessarily feel the need to follow its dictats.

Sipping her post-dinner chai, S recounted her view: if you cheat, and don't feel guilty - you're in the wrong relationship. That's why she is breaking up with her boyfriend this week. She cheated, did not feel guilty, knew he was the wrong guy for not inspiring that guilt, will end.

Wait. She cheated? S? The "good" cousin? Huh.

M disagrees, animatedly. Says "cheating is horrible - if you are in a relationship, you can't cheat. Case closed. I would never betray someone I care about like that". Looks at me as he says that. Could have been coincidence, the timing of that. Could have been a message: "I would never have hurt you. You shouldn't have said no". An over-played chorus.

Over lunch on Friday, L told me that he thinks A and I should go out, a thought that has occurred to me before. Why have I not entertained this thought? Because twice in the past he has cheated on his girlfriends, readily admitting it, and excusing it as "we were in close proximity and had just watched a provocative movie" or something to that effect. Not for me, thank you. No excuse.

So there you have it, A and I will never be going out.

It occurs to me that this whole conceptualization may have practical implication for me. Could be this is why Steve stopped any and all contact. Maybe he felt guilty and feelings of guilt = cessation of contact. If that is the case, I wish him and the Waterloo girlfriend well.

Well. Most of the time I do. Sometimes I hope he'll accidentally slip and fall out the window of his high-rise apartment onto bustling Bloor Street below.

Splat.