...your secret name shall have 36 letters...

For the record. When I in the future say "I do not want to go", please do not coerce me into going. I know what I am doing. I know this because tonight I did not want to go, but I did, and then spent the subway ride between Eglinton and Finch stations inclusive in tears.

I remember promising one time to write of the paradoxical relationship between caring for someone and simultaneously hating them, but I don't really think an in-depth exposition is necessary. I'm betting how I feel is by no means unique and you know exactly the entanglement of emotions that I am speaking of.

There are 6 stations between Eglinton and Finch. Plenty of time for contemplation that I, unlike others who self-profess as much, am not a changed man. I don't know if I realistically thought I was, but I didn't think I was still so tied up. Shows what I know.

Also it only took me three minutes to first lose it tonight, and just leave everything and walk off. Seems that in addition to not being a changed man, I am also not a tough cookie.