...this is the story of the boys who loved you...

i) He doesn't really love me. He says he does, but he's a liar (pants on fire). The hair is diverting when he's just come in from the rain, pouffy and so. Has character, not like these silly Canadians. 
   
ii) We need two roomies. Great place, cheap price, four terriff roommates.
 
iii) I don't know why all this drama follows me around. Sometimes I think I create it, but sometimes I just seem cursed. Insensitive boyfriends, secret family divorce/affair spectacles, house stabbings, and kitchen fires. Do I have it all or what?