...if there's a way, meet at the bar...

i) I had. A con. Ver sation.
 
Just one, but hey look at me go. I was calm/civilized/clever - all my favorite "c" words. Here's another: "chill". I was chill too, and not snide/petty as I am oft to do.
 
This is the answer I think - I had Secret Knowledge. The knowledge that I looked hot wearing brand-new skinny jeans and the makeout shirt, that I was on my way out on a Friday night, that I had people waiting for me, that I had better things to do than sit there chatting with him, but I would for a few minutes. I deigned. Witness me deign, la la la. Secret Knowledge and skinny jeans are a dangerous combination. No end to my beauteous charms, I am knowing it, and left regal and magnanimous in spirit. If you're only now learning how cool I am, how unfortunate for you.
 
"I'd like to hold you still, remind you of all you missed".
 
ii) I don't take kindly to criticism. I am very, very defensive most of the time, about any and all things. God help any who try to tell me I am not doing right, and do different. There aren't many people who can get away with telling me the truths I need to hear; at this moment they count at three. Everyone else is ignored to varying extents, on a sliding scale.
 
LessThanThree belongs to the three. He knows me quite well you see, and he may have seemed a little harsh last night (*clears throat* he was) but he speaks for my own good, and my own good knows that he is right. Hence, new leaf. As of 7:49 a.m. I am no longer to be hung up. I am hang-ING up. As in a receiver, as in shutting it down, as in getting over. Aren't you proud of me?
 
"I made the wall of shadow draw back, beyond desire and act, I walked on."
 
iii) The nature of fear and love in the modern world. By which I naturally mean, my modern world, in which I am distant and ever ready to take flight.
 
"Could you be his girlfriend", asks The Best.
 
"Ack.. don't say girlfriend", I spit back.
 
That's it though, isn't it? That's the point, completely. I couldn't be his girlfriend and I really really want to be: there's a monstrosity of issues, insecurities, intimidation - there's a monstrosity of intimidation standing in my way. Completely without inference or insinuation, he speaks of how he is ready to settle down and date someone longterm (he has always been the player, in past), have a serious committed relationship, share with someone - all kinds of wonderful things to make me feel completely uncomfortable. So here we are, and here is a hard place.
 
iv) The black stretch limo was standing at the corner of Bloor and Balmuto as we came out of the Scotiabank. D waved to the driver, he was on his cell phone and put up one finger, the international signal for "one minute, and I'll chat with you". A creepy limo driver gesturing his intent to chat with us? The Best and I suggested we leave. D gave the driver the pouty look and waved sadly goodbye.
 
Not even four steps further, we hear a door open and close behind us. Finished with his call, the driver had got out of the car and was motioning us over.
 
"We just wanted to ask if you could give us a ride to the TD Bank" D shouts over to him.
 
Amazingly, he says yes. Amazingly to D, The Best and I say no and start dragging her away. But I mean, a driver randomly willing to pick up three girls in his limo? Who knows what would have happened to us. He seemed creepy anyway and maybe he had someone in the back already and THEY wanted him to pick us up for devious purposes of their own.
 
I am a little paranoid, but the decision was made. A block away, D lets us have it.
 
"I hate you two! You get one year older and lose all your fun. Obviously Ben Affleck was in there, and Matt Damon, and obviously they were naked! And you made me miss it!"
 
A sad thing to miss, I know. But it's alright. Playing pool later that night, four pairs of guys hit on her. I think she had a good time, lack-of-limo notwithstanding.