...the kids are alright...

The only reason I continued emailing him back last night was because of the line "maybe I was having doubts about the decision", which killed me inside, briefly. What does it mean that he was having doubts? Is he still? I was desperate to find out. So we email-chatted a few times, back and forth. What we've been up to in the past few months, how we're doing. It took a couple different things to get me back onto the right track: remembering why I have spent the past month angry, thinking about who he is and the neediness and insecurity, thinking about who I am and how I have been the last few months (read: happy, busy, light), and talking to Claire who was incredible. She reminded me of many things that I never forgot but sometimes you need reminding, you know? Most of all she reminded me that I am in an incredibly sexy city and why am I giving this even a thought when I should be thriving here?

She was right. And just like that I stopped the thread - it may have been a little rude even, not answering like that, but I can't be bothered. So instead I went shopping, drinking, drugging, and into a wonderful land of video-gaming all night. Oh thumb callous, you have served me well.

On a side note - in my drug induced haze I started thinking about Conker's Bad Fur Day which just might be the single best thing to have ever been created. Not one of the people I hung out with last night had heard of it, so Alex and I went tripping down to Videotron to find it and add it to our night of 3D platform revelry. Sadly, no one rents N64 games anymore, so I was bereft. But has anyone other than me and the Middies played this game? It is both brilliant and hysterical: funny and clever, totally obscene, but that never compromises its "gameyness". Great sound and graphics, dialogue, action, fluid fluid scene development. It's one of those where you don't want to stop until you have finished the game, and that is dangerous. So. The point is, go find it and play. And think of me.