...he is NOT jewish - you lie...

i) I need $2000 and I need it now. Is there any way I can accomplish this that does not involve Jarvis St. and a mini skirt? We're not counting that out necessarily, but I would prefer working around it.

The reason? An ibook. That is haunting me, in my dreams and during the day. Also, the $275 rebate that ends tomorrow night.

ii) I want to make phone calls. Long distance phone calls. I'm feeling nostalgia for the people far away who I don't talk to enough and who I want to talk to right... now. So I want to call Seattle, and Boston (Cambridge?), and San Fran, and Boulder. But I only have a cell phone and no calling card. And even if I had a calling card, the long distance air-time would be a bitch. This is going to be a problem. Suggestions?

iii) The day I found out SM was gay, something inside me broke. Seriously. Why, I ask you? And obviously everyone in the whole world knows I'm ass backwards for him, and obviously he is still gay. I am not impressed.

iv) After 3 hours dealing with subway delays: our theories.

Rach: All the delays are somehow involved with Eglinton. Why? A city-wide conspiracy to convince everyone to move south of this god-forsaken street.
Me: No man, a different kind of conspiracy. It's about the suicides. They all jump at Eglinton.
Rach: But why that one stop?
Me: It's the halfway point of the two ends of the line. If I was angry and bitter enough to kill myself, I'd want to piss everyone else off when I did. What better way than to jump at Eglinton, middle of the entire system, and thus inflict the most general frustration?
Rach: That's brilliant. Think if you wanted to cause the most frustrating kind of agony. Jump during morning rush hour; people would go nuts.
Me: Take it one step further. Do it with a friend. You jump first thing in the morning at rush hour, your friend jumps around 5 right around afternoon rush hour. You manage to catch the suckers twice. Then the asshole who was late for work and then late for dinner loses it and he jumps too!
Rach: At Eglinton!
Me: Just in time to take care of the late night crowd.

*high fives*

v) Over lunch, Middle Eastern. "You're what, 22?"

Now that was a first. Until today he had never once lost sight of my age, never once even tried to reconcile himself to the "great divide" as I like to call it. Can I be optimistic now?

He said he would cook for me, sometime.