...streaming inconsistencies, careless indelicacies...

She rings the distraction alarm at every turn. The closer I get, the more obvious the parallels are and I wonder if I shouldn't get back on the ledge. There was another girl like her remember? Her personality contains as many backslashes as she has multitudes, and you hope you'll get advance warning when the changes come.

Fast/Love
Free/Fall
Lost/Boys
Can't/Quite/Reach

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I missed him last year. Two days before I came home from Iran, he left again and again I settled in for a year without. He's almost home, almost home and I'll probably have to fight to see him, and hope he calls me and wants to see me. I'll be insecure and nervous, wondering what is taking so long. I'll cave eventually and call him myself and show up at his office and pull theatrics. Graceless, I know. But it will work. It has to.

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Last night I explained this to a friend: It isn't that I don't like her. It's that she is too much like me, but to her they are receptive. What appears like a casual distaste is jealousy pure and simple. I don't want to be a pet. I'm capable and formidable, and want to Show My Stuff!

!!

Got it?