...no one is a circumstantial brat...

- He's talking about the kind of girlfriend he wants, and I'm thinking - I'm that girl. -

Today was a job interview for a job I don't really want - I passed with flying colours, and was invited to a last interview with the company director. I want to call them tomorrow, apologize for wasting their time. Not go the last interview. Because I am not really interested. Just confirming that yes, I can do better.

Speaking of doing better - Saturday I am going on a date. A real, live, honest-to-goodness date the likes of which I have rarely had. Most of my relationships have been the result of hyperdramatic, nearly-unrequited crushes that had me in the throes of infatuation. I'm not really used to a guy saying "Hey, we should go out" outofthebluestraightup like that. I thought at first maybe it wasn't the best idea, because I'm not in the throes of infatuation but everyone in my life is telling me that's silly, maybe that's my problem, he's great go out with him and maybe things will develop.

Which is great in theory - except I did do that once before, the only other time I had a genuine "first date" experience with a guy I didn't yet really know, and the things didn't develop, and he got hurt. I'm hoping not to repeat.

I misled you a little, above. I said I am not in the throes of infatuation. Well maybe not in the overly-sensitized sense. But I do like someone, more than a little. And I think he likes me maybe, at least a little. And nothing is likely to come out of this, so why I am even talking about? I don't know - maybe because I am thinking about it. More than a little. He's the one who should have asked me out.