...if, in the middle of a vital conversation...

*Grudgingly* Okay so Farnam was right, I absolutely needed to read this book. EVERY woman needs to read this book, and most guys (just so they can learn what they are doing wrong). God help all the particular guys in my life, because you are all being cut. Cut, cut, cut - and you know why. The most important thing I learned last night? Of course guys know what they are doing. They know they're doing wrong, but they have no balls and so will do it anyway.

Relevent chapters (and what I learned from them) - authors, please don't sue, I'm just abridging:
i) He's just not into you if he's not dating you: Men want to feel emotionally protected too, and will lay claim to a relationship if they are into you. They will *want* to say "I'm your boyfriend" - i.e. if he is really into you, he's going to want you all to himself.

ii) He's just not into you if he's breaking up with you (and let's talk about how this chapter made me cry): "Dear Misty Watered Colored Memories" it starts.. ouch. I want to quote the entire paragraph by Liz, and the letter by Nikki (which Melissa realised I should have written), but I can't so instead I will just quote this one bit: "No talking, no seeing, no touching.. half the people I know move after a big breakup". Hmm.. sound familiar?

PS: I was cry-feeling for like a minute and a half. The rest of the time Meliss and I were cracking up at how stupid we are, and how this ends NOW.

Greatest literature line ever: "A breakup is a definitive action, not a democratic one". LOVE IT!

iii) He's just not into you if he's disappeared on you: Hit home all the major points, i.e. the "but can't I at least yell at him" excuse, and "but I just want an answer" excuse.

Key point: "The reason it's painful is you have to face the fact that the person you loved probably left a long time before he actually grabbed his coat" - BUT - it just means you were "dating the worst person in the world".

This chapter had a lot of key points in common with "he's just not calling you". Both chapters are clutch. CLUTCH.

iv) He's just not into you if he's married (or other insane variations of unavailable): Here's the lowdown -

- he's okay with being dishonest
- he's fine with cheating
- he has no real regard for his relationship
- or YOU if you're just getting scraps and stolen time

You are better than that, he says. And it's true, I am - I am not easily forgettable so he can find me when he's ready. Otherwise though, I am not playing a waiting game, or really any game, done and done. When you see someone you really really want, it's easy to get caught up in accepting less than you expect or deserve, even when that is such a phenomenally pathetic example of "less". I want to hold out for the "more than I deserve".

Damn straight.

Farnam will thank lord and high heaven for this, but all Greg's and Liz's words rang home and I AM BETTER THAN THAT. Better than all four of you (and oh do I have such a low low regard right now). I wasn't intending to read the book last night, not all of it, but I brought it out to show to Melissa and suddenly we kept finding relevent chapters. And yeah, at some points we felt like Greg was physically punching us in the gut, but at other times - like the letter from a future boyfriend - we felt awesome and empowered. I feel so strong, honestly. We sat and essentially read the whole thing, decided we needed a break and a walk, and with Swig, Lith and Slick Tatum in tow, went to sushi on Bloor.

Can you all go out and buy this book please? Please?! For the sake of all the best friends who's shoulders you will otherwise cry on, go to it. And if you have experience with any of the not-worth-it guys exemplified in this book, send them a copy too. Maybe they'll learn something, wisen up. Or maybe not.

Farnam - I owe you. Big time. HUGE. Love you so insanely much, you kooky nut. And everyone can be jealous that they don't have one of you.

Mwah kiddies, I am in such a great mood. I'm going to go kill my French presentation, and then have an amazing day. Hope you all have a great one too :)