...i have an idea concerning your predicament...

Communication by proxy, three months later:

I'm not going to rework this and analyse it and deconstruct it within a shadow of itself; I'm not going to question what you meant, or why you said it. I don't want to know why you could say "we came so close..." almost wistfully, as if there was this ideal of romance, hazy floating waiting and we were almost there; as if circumstance and accidental obstacles were the only thing to get in the way. I'm not going to remind you that there was no circumstance, there was just you. I might think it, but I never will attack your self-whining as infantile and irrational, at least not to your face. But you know that I do think it, that complaining about the unfairness of being a romantic but being alone is ricidulously stupid considering it was your own choice. The cynical bitch in me (I'm really not one though) might have me say if you wear your heart on your sleeve, it's only because you think yours is more worthy of showing off, and that you are oblivious to others sporting similar badges.

Oh brother.

I think I know the reason why people in previous centuries were more content and stable than most of us can claim to be today. This cyber-reality that we all live and thrive in so easily is also what keeps us hanging on long past the expiration date. Even worse, this emergence on an extended online network brought me back when I *was* past. Isn't that silly?

I'd like to think if someone had shown up last year and stuck a post-it on your forehead saying Best Before: Anything Serious Develops, I would have known well enough to change direction. Since I can't know that, I'm left to consider what I *do* know:

i) It was more than a respectable run, and I'm glad I know that even if you don't.
ii) At least I got out of it the Second Season of ER on DVD... which you are never getting back.

I think the lack of sleep gave me Wednesday-afternoon bitterness. I am going to ge read in the sun, and regroup. Someone just called to take me out to dinner tonight, and that will be just lovely.