...so who will now candle me home...

I think I'm growing up (slowly, surely), making better decisions for better reasons. That first time, going to the movies was a mistake. It let me sit in darkness while a story unfolded in front of my eyes - not the one on the screen, but the one *right* in front of my eyes, in that unseen space where my thoughts leave the relative safety of my head and are too visible to ignore.

Some time from now, it said, we might be together-forever. We might be closed to new things. Or we could be open to new things. We might be happy, but maybe we won't be. We might be just about to leave a play I dragged you out to when you wanted to watch football instead - we just might be a breath away from walking past an ex-lover who knew me better than you do, who knows I can't sit still. Maybe it won't be like that at all, and I will be calm with you and around you, and we really will be happy, maybe...

We should have just skipped the movie, that first time, and talked over coffee instead. Talked so I would focus on your words and not on my imagination, which leaps so fast from me. We got it right this second time, three months later. Hopefully right. Maybe right. At least, at the very least, this time we can try for right. At the very, very least.