...but it makes you feel alive...

That was certainly interesting. I'm not sure how I am about all of that, but surprisingly I do feel somewhat annoyed. Not quite angry, but certainly disconcerted. For one thing, I wasn't anywhere close to being as out of it as I appeared, although I was sick from whatever the hell that manic Russian pharmacist gave me earlier. For another thing, well - we won't go there maybe, it's not important. I guess the only important thing is I wanted some kind of answers, and I some kind of got them.

So a little bit of a downer at the end, but not enough to overrule an essentially incredible day. Just... phenomenal. Amazing event, and the rain held off to the last beautiful moment. Had a great task today, lots of energy, lots of responsibility, and I did so so good. I can't even tell you how much I miss doing big events, whether for FTC or last year with NXNE. I completely get off on the energy and the vibe and stress of it all, pure rush. I don't phase easily, and that makes a huge difference. Cucumber cool.

I am all about cucumber cool today. B, I think, has a part to play in that. We had a lovely chat tonight, at an opportune moment, and she stressed the importance of knowing what you're worth. Story of my early 2006, figuring that one out. It didn't take too long though. I'm worth all of it, more than falling into half-baked somewhat offers. I deserve all of it, and I am worth all of it.