...love on the highest level is no joke...

I don't have any of the usual stomach knots for either the guy I am seeing or the one who is seeing me. I like them so much and sometimes my body remembers this too and does flips and thrills, but otherwise everything is calm. Imagine my surprise, then, when, not expecting to see him, and not realizing my senses were still capable of short-circuiting all at once, I had an embarrassingly unsettling reaction to someone else, someone who doesn't really see me at all. An awakening in 10 seconds.

Phil says: Each time you feel confident of the way to move ahead, someone or something casts doubt on your plans. Trust your good intuition

Intution: direct perception of truth, fact, etc. independent of any reasoning process; an immediate apprehension.

In other words, the kicked-in-the-gut sensation that hit me when the skies opened and the sun shone down (hello to melodrama, and the feeling of being 15 again), illuminating what my dreams and the absense of my own better judgment have been telling me for months: I wish I had been ten years older ten years ago, but still in this place.